Saying goodbye and letting go...

Too many times in this life we hold onto things from which we should be free. I give warning here that some observations may prove to be too painful for some, or too soon for others to read, so guard your heart and govern yourself accordingly.

I have been fasting and praying, seeking GOD's face about some things. What HE has revealed has both hurt and healed me, but because I know that "all things work together for the good of them who love GOD, who are the called according to HIS purpose," and "whom the Father loves, those HE also chastises," I received my Daddy's instructions and am in desperate effort implementing them.

When a loved one is on their deathbed, be it literal or spiritual, we must go to GOD to find out what is HIS next step. We can't just wail and moan, crying out to save them or heal them; that might not be HIS plan. Too many times we are trying to hold onto someone who wants to go home, who is tired of fighting, or who knows that they have fought the good fight and kept the faith and it's time to say goodbye. Of course, we will miss them, especially if they are a close family member, a best friend, or even a beloved pet. But we have to remember that this is not our home, we are just travelers through it, and holding on to that worn out vessel is not good for either of us/you.

We are meant to be dynamic, not static, and moving on is what we are supposed to do after our assignment is complete. This is not to negate the scriptures that say, "greater things than this will you do," or "you shall lay hands on the sick and they will recover," far from it, but we still are subject to GOD's plan and we must be ever mindful of HIS next instructions. Yes, we have been given the power and authority to heal the sick, raise the dead, open blinded eyes, unstop deaf ears, etc., but the power and authority comes from GOD and we still have to operate under HIS jurisdiction. If HE says that it's time to let that loved one go, then that we must do. We cannot weep like those who have no hope, even if we erroneously feel that they were the last one in the Earth left to us. (Side note here: I said "erroneously" on purpose because no matter how alone you may seem or feel, you are never truly alone. Just take the time to look around you, and GOD will show you who's truly in your corner.)

I have to say goodbye to someone soon, and it's breaking my heart, but it's GOD's instructions. I knew my heart would be broken, but since I left it in HIS capable hands, the pain would be fleeting. Even though I haven't said goodbye yet, I am already feeling the healing of my broken heart and I'm at peace. I urge you, if you have to say goodbye to someone, and you know without a shadow of a doubt that "this is it," seek GOD's face and climb up into HIS lap to receive your instructions and comfort, because only there will you find the solace and strength to keep going...

Lovingly submitted,

The Psalmist.

Lord Jesus, help me to do that...

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. -- Philippians 4:8 NLT

I have always had an issue with letting go. Whether it be physical, emotional or spiritual things, I have a hard time giving them up. I've sat in seminars, read books, studied Bible chapters, prayed, fasted, journaled, you name it, I've tried it, and yet, for some reason, as the Bible says, "like a dog returning to its own vomit," I go right back to it, the old habit, the old hurt, the same way of doing things. Don't get me wrong, some things have changed, and I have managed to get rid of quite a few vices, but there are still some things on which the Lord is working out in me.

Let me make it concrete - I have a hard time letting go of past hurts. I used to have a problem with forgiveness and all that went along with it, and now I'm to the point where I can forgive and even allow the people who committed the offenses back into my life, but right now, the Lord and I are still working on my revisiting past hurts. Small offenses, of course, are easier; I'm talking about the deep rooted pain that came from misdeeds against me in my childhood on through my adult years.

There are some people I've encountered who tell me it's so easy to forgive, who say, 'you have to forgive because Jesus says to,' that they don't have a problem with forgiving. These people I approach with caution, simply because I have a hard time believing them because often their actions speak otherwise. I do know that there are some people who forgive more easily than I and they are able to get past the past more quickly than I. Because I see how they are able to do that, I believe not only what they tell me, but I pay closest attention to their advice because, frankly, they're walking their talk. It's the other ones who spout so much advice and their walk belies their stories I stay away from.

See, I'm like most people, I like practical advice. If I hear you say it's easy to do something, yet I see you struggling with it yourself, I'm not going to believe you. On the other hand, if you tell me that you were able to get through something that you thought was going to be easy, that you encountered some obstacles along the way, that you cried or fought, or basically acted like the human being you are, and then you tell me how you did it, and how you are able to still forgive and get past the pain, then I'm more likely to listen to your story and advice.

So here I am, back again, struggling to get past some hurts that were perpetrated against me some time ago. I have gotten to the point where I can pray for the offenders and I can actually say (and believe) that I forgive them. Now, because the offense had such a profound effect on my life, I am trying to actually get past the hurt. I know I eventually will; it may take many years, or it may take a few months, but I am confident that it will happen.

This post came about because I was reading a book and a familiar phrase came up in one of the final chapters. It said, "if you hold on to the hurt of the past, you're just allowing that person to hurt you all over again." I've heard that phrase so many times before, but in that moment, it really hit home. I'd allowed the pain to get so deep that it affected every area of my life. And to make it worse, I kept revisiting it over and over and over again, even to the point of vowing that I would never forgive the perpetrators.

Well, now that the incidents are in the past and I no longer have any direct association with the perpetrators, I am trying to heal, and the forgiveness was the first step. I've taken that step, and now I have to stop revisiting the site of the hurt. That's where the scripture reference comes into play. Do you remember hearing some wise older person say to you at some point, "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all?" Well, that's how I'm healing. Instead of thinking of the bad that was done and constantly spewing venom about it, I now counter those un-Godly thoughts and words with life-infused visions and phrases. When my mind wants to revisit those past hurts and I feel that familiar tightening in my chest, I either let the tears flow and keep my mouth shut, or instead of cursing them, I ask God to forgive me for my own vile thoughts and I thank Him that I made it through alive.

It's been a hard journey, but the Holy Spirit has been with me the entire time, weeping with me, holding me, encouraging me, speaking peace to me and walking me through it. One day, I'll be able to speak about the past without crying or feeling any anger or bitterness, but until then, "The Lord is my Shepherd...He leads me beside still waters, He restores my soul..."

Lovingly submitted,

The Psalmist

Drop or Hang?

I remember seeing a poster some years ago of a kitten hanging on to the end of a rope. The caption read, "Hang in there!" As I considered that caption, I realized that there is more to it for a lot of us. Sometimes 'hanging in there' isn't the best answer, sometimes letting go is what needs to be done. Either way, wisdom has to prevail. The Bible teaches us that wisdom is the principal thing, but that we aren't to lean to our own understanding, but acknowledge God in all our ways so that He can direct our steps. That's where I picked up the rest of the message.

Although what we do all boils down to obedience or disobedience to God's Word and Voice, our faith in that Word and Voice will often determine our level of obedience or disobedience. Take the example of that kitten on that rope. Picture yourself in that kitten's place---barely hanging on. Now you can do one of two things: you can tie a knot in that rope and hang on for dear life, or you can let go. The only way you're going to know beforehand which choice is better is by asking the Lord for His Help. Only He will know what the outcome will be and which outcome is best for you. See, there's the wisdom (yours for looking to His).

You may be wondering, okay, that's really easy looking in from the outside, but no, really, think about this...since God knows what's going to happen anyway, and He only thinks good thoughts towards us, then He always has our good at heart. Now don't get this twisted, the outcome may be for our good, and the actual journey may be extremely painful, but that doesn't mean the decision was wrong, it just means it's going to take tenacity to get to the other side.

Anyway, back to our "kitten" situation. You may think that just letting go may be the best solution, I mean, kittens land on their feet, right? Well, the poster didn't show what was below the kitten. For all we know, there could have been a pool of sharks swimming around below, just out of frame. We also have no idea how long the kitten has been hanging on to that rope, so fatigue may be a major factor. Regardless, we can't just happen upon a scene and make snap decisions about decisions; there is always more to "it" than what our eyes can see. My point is that only God can tell us what we really should do, and to find that out, we have to ask Him. This is where our faith and our obedience really kick in. God may tell us that although we see a pool of sharks below, He wants us to let go. Or, although there may be soft grass just inches below, He may tell us to hang on. The directive offered may seem absurd to our natural eyes, but faith doesn't look through natural eyes.

Remember when I said that our level of obedience or disobedience is all determined by our faith or lack of it? If we believe God, believe on His Word, believe in His Will for our lives, then we'll be obedient. If our faith and belief waver, so too will our obedience. Our level of commitment to follow the teachings of Christ will affect our faith and therefore our level and immediacy of obedience. Not saying it's easy, never will I claim that, but it's easier than making decisions on our own, with no insight or assistance whatsoever.

Yeah, decisions to 'hang in there' or 'just let go' are often life-changing decisions, no doubt, but with the help of the Holy Spirit and the teachings of Jesus Christ, our decisions don't have to be "blind." If we ask God for help, we hear His Answer, and we follow what He says to the letter, we can't go wrong. Others may not get it, but the decision isn't theirs and they don't have to live with the consequences of disobedience (well, maybe they do, but that will be their decision). No matter what it may look like from the outside, as long as the decision is God-led, the outcome will be glorious. Now that's wisdom!

Lovingly posted,

The Psalmist